Losing Her by Mariah Dietz

Author:Mariah Dietz [Dietz, Mariah]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Romance
Publisher: Mariah Dietz
Published: 2015-02-27T05:00:00+00:00

“Max …” I feel my jaw clench as Abby’s voice breaks my slumber of blankness. She’s been the most persistent about seeing me. While I was at my mom’s for the summer, she came over nearly every week, though generally my foul mood didn’t have her ever staying long. Jesse accompanied her occasionally, but he was doing summer classes, as well as a new job because he refused to take any money from Abby’s family.

I know what Abby sees this morning; last night I’d been working to drown my memories with gin—a liquor I had chosen simply because I knew Ace hated it.

I’d begun throwing shit away, things that reminded me of her, which only led to an onslaught of memories that I’d worked ferociously to tame by drinking directly from the bottle.

My eyes feel inoperable, as do the rest of my muscles, as I slowly look around. I don’t bother moving, she’s seen me worse, and I wouldn’t give a shit regardless.

“Let’s go get some breakfast,” she offers, taking a couple of steps closer to me. My eyes close in response. It’s too hard to keep them open right now, and we both know I have no desire to go to breakfast.

“You can’t do this, Max. You can’t just give up on everything. She wouldn’t want you to be acting like this.”

My mind churns for a retaliation because she’s thrown her in my face, but my head feels like it’s about to explode. I don’t have the energy to fight her this morning. She realizes this and continues. “You guys love each other. I know things are a mess right now—”

“Shut up, Abby,” I growl, reaching my limits.

“I know how you feel, Max. Ace was born my best friend. Prior to all of this, I’ve never gone more than a day without talking to her. I know how your heart physically hurts with her absence and you feel a sense of loneliness, regardless of how many people are around. She’s the best kind of person there is.” Kendall’s familiar voice fills the room at one of the softest volumes I’ve ever heard, which must be why I’m not screaming at her to shut up, because I don’t need to be reminded of what her loss is doing to me; it’s evident to everyone that looks at me.

“Ace didn’t make you a better person though, Max. You’re still the same person.”

I thought she understood. This solidifies that she doesn’t have a fucking clue.

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